Men Feel Respected When:

1.   You tell him you value him working, don’t criticize his job or his income.

2.  You listen to his work stories.

3.  You let him know you are his helpmate and friend.

4.  You admire his protection and his willingness to die for you and the family.

5.  You are understanding and respectful when he talks from his ‘male-perspective’.

6.  You speak with a kind, calm tone of voice (avoid scolding).

7. You accept that he may need to talk to you ‘shoulder-to-shoulder’ rather than ‘face-to-face’.

8.  You don’t refer to his sexual needs in negative way.

9.  Myth: If I withhold my sexual responsiveness, he will figure out my emotional needs.

10.   You calmly and privately correct or remind him concerning something.

11.  You initiate physical intimacy.

12.  You let him know, in word and action, that you ‘like’ him,

even if he knows you ‘love’ him.

13.  You don’t argue with him or challenge him in front of the children.

14.  You listen and understand, without lecturing.

15.  You accept his invitation to watch him in a hobby, sport or recreational activity.

16.  You enable him to spend time alone. This refreshes him and enriches your time together.

17.  You welcome and enjoy his charm, humor, and romantic efforts.

18.  You are delighted when he figures something out or comes up with a really good idea.

19.  You calmly disagree and yet reasonably affirm his right to lead.

20.  You affirm his good decisions.

21. You allow him to ‘fix things’ and appreciate his efforts.

22.  You recognize his problem solving as his God-given manner of showing concern.

23. You acknowledge that you feel safer when he is around.

24.  You value his friendships with other men.

25.  You recognize his invitation to ‘be with me’ is an invitation to close friendship.

26.  You affirm his accomplishments and character privately and/or publicly.